X was going to meet her boyfriend's grandparents in China for the first time. Since she was not a Chinese, she did not really possess any knowledge about the Chinese culture and traditions. However, her Chinese friends told her that in China, it is important that you bring along a gift whenever you are visiting someone, as a sign of respect to the host.
So she decided to go to the gift shop to see if she could find something there. While she was at the gift shop, she saw this small, unique-looking antique clock. Fascinated by the clock, she decided to purchase it as a gift. She asked the shop assistant to wrap up the gift.
As she walking out the store, she saw a fruit stall along the road. She thought that it would be a good idea to bring along some fruits as well to visit her boyfriend's grandparents. So she purchased four pears.
Later on her boyfriend picked her up and they went to his grandparents' home together. His grandparents greeted them and were very excited to meet their grandson's girlfriend for the first time. X then proceed to take the wrapped gift and the four pears from her bag. When they saw the fruits, their facial expressions changed immediately. The smiles disappeared from their faces. X wondered if something was wrong.
As X passed the wrapped gift to her boyfriend's grandmother, her grandmother heard some ticking sound from it. Immediately she asked X whether it was a clock. X said yes. The grandmother became very angry and started scolding X. X was shocked.
After reading the story above, some of you may be wondering what was wrong with the gift, as well as the fruits. Let me begin with the fruits first. There was actually nothing wrong with the fruits, but there was something wrong with the number of fruits. Chinese people do not believe in giving anything in sets of four, as four is considered an "unlucky" number since the pronunciation of four in the Chinese language sounds like "death".
As for the gift, Chinese people will always avoid giving clocks because the phrase "giving a clock as a gift", when pronounced in the Chinese language, sounds like "wishing someone's death". However, this does not apply to watches, only clocks.
This particular story clearly illustrates the importance of knowing and understanding the culture and traditions of other people because we do not want to get caught in circumstances where we unknowingly or unintentionally upset the other party, as this may result in serious consequences. In a real working environment, we may actually lose a crucial business deal or offend someone important due to our ignorance of their culture.
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My sympathies go out to poor X for her terrible choice of gifts as well as her rotten luck in committing two taboos on her first visit. However, I feel that perhaps she should have checked with her boyfriend before hand.
ReplyDeleteWith reference to the clock, I believe that there is a way around it. I am not too sure, but I think that the interpretation that the Chinese have is as follows: Giving someone a clock akin to sending someone off on his final journey. However, the whole meaning is changed is the clock is not given as a gift, but sold instead. Thus what some Chinese do to get around it is to pay a token amount to the "sender" and thus it becomes a sale and not a gift. As such, no taboo is committed.
I must say that Jackson brought up a very good point indeed when he said that X should have checked with her boyfriend first instead of "assuming" that her gift would be well received.
ReplyDeleteMany a times we like to "assume" that the culture of others is similiar to ours. Take hand gestures for instance. I believe that many people actually assume that the OK gesture made by our thumb and index finger is universally accepted by all but in reality, such a gesture is considered obscene in certain countries. Or maybe we think that it is perfectly normal for males and females to mingle around with each other, not realizing that this is not necessarily the practice in every place.
So, whenever we are at a place where the culture is different, is it best that we find out more about the culture of that place and double-check with our friends who originate from that place, instead of assuming things.
The understanding of cultures and traditions is indeed profound. From all the blog posts I have read, I realized there are so much out there that we are not aware of. In some cases, our ignorance could offend others even without our knowing. In the above case, I believe that X really hoped to please her boyfriend's grandparents. Unfortunately, she has chosen the wrong gifts for her visit. As what Jackson and Alvin have suggested, X would have easily avoided the above problem by checking with her boyfriend what to get for the visit. However in cases where we don't get to check, we might just have to learn the culture the hard way.
ReplyDeleteI had always thought that the Chinese dislike of clocks as gifts was because it was a marker of time. I hadn't realised it was connected to language. Knowing the Chinese view on this has actually affected my present buying so I never buy a clock as a gift because the time-death link has been made in my mind. In fact clocks are a favourite present in the UK for workers who retire from a company which seems very bad taste to me now.
ReplyDeleteMrs Richardson
I think this situation could be avoided if there was better communication between the girl and her boyfriend. Well, I guess in most cases, in a relationship, it is never just about the two of them but the overlapping of their social circles.
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ReplyDeleteIn addition to the two taboos that Alvin have mentioned, shoes or slippers are not supposed to be purchased as a gift as well. When I was young, my grandparents told me that it means that we are chasing the receiver away.
ReplyDeleteHowever, nowadays, most of the young Chinese generation (including myself) are no longer aware of all these taboos. One of my friends have recently given his Chinese friend a pair of Adidas shoes as a present and he doesn't seem to be offended at all.