X had always been very different from other children. From a very young age, he displayed extraordinary intelligence. He could somehow understand almost everything at a quicker pace and that enabled him to pick up both language and mathematical skills with ease. Apart from that, he also possessed an incredibly high memory capacity where he was able to not only remember many things, he could memorize things which are highly complex in nature as well. But what was most amazing about X was that even at a very young age of 4, he could already start reasoning things out and tried to make sense of the world around him.
Unfortunately, his parents did not realize that their child was somewhat gifted (or more advanced than other children, if you prefer to call it that). They brought him up as if he was just an ordinary child and did not cater to a lot of his mental, emotional and psychological needs accordingly. As a result, the child grew up constantly feeling that his parents never understood him at all, leading to increasing feelings of resentment towards his parents. On several occasions, he tried to drop some hints concerning what he was feeling deep down inside but his parents could not picked them up at all. He wanted to tell them directly but just could not find the words to express his emotions. After all, he was still a child and did not know how to talk to grown ups about such complicated and somewhat awkward matters.
During his teenage years, he frequently quarreled with his parents about almost everything. One fine day, X requested for additional pocket money from his father since he wanted to buy a book that he really liked. Now his father was financially strapped that particular month. Coupled with a long stressful day at work, his father was really in a terrible mood. He scolded X for always spending so much of money and told him very sharply that it was a NO. X then got mad, perceiving that his father was once again being “un-understanding” towards him as usual. He slammed the door after his father left the room. His father, seeing that action as being disrespectful kicked the door open and shouted very loudly at X. X yelled back and soon a shouting match started. Fortunately, X's mother intervened and stopped both parties from taking it any farther. After that incident, X was badly shaken and felt hatred for his father. He contemplated running away from home for a few days just to give his parents a scare. After all, his parents had never really realized that they did not understand him and maybe doing something drastic might just be the thing to get their attention.
If you were in X's shoes, what will you do?
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ReplyDeleteThis scenario highlighted sounds like a skirmish typical of teenagers and their parents. In this case, it appears that the hatred which X has for his father is not simply due to the one off argument that he had with his father over pocket money. Rather, it seems to me that this argument is merely the culmination of all the resentment has been built up within X since childhood and the incident over pocket money merely served as a trigger that sparked off the anger that has been simmering within him.
ReplyDeleteThe root of the problem between father and child is due to the lack of understanding between between them. The fact that X was in his teenage years makes the situation more difficult as youths at this age tend to be more defiant. Moreover, parents who fail to build up effective communication with their children since a young age would usually find it harder to see the problem from their childrens' perspective.
In this case, I feel that X should try to engage in a heart to heart talk with his father. He should not have kept his resentment within himself. At the same time, X could have tried to approach his father for pocket money probably at a time when his father is relaxed and not when his father is exhausted after a hard day of work. Instead of ruminating over the fact that his father is being "un-understanding" again, he could have tried to ask himself questions like "Dad's scolding me but could it be due to the fact that he is stressed up over work and I have just asked him something at the wrong time?". By engaging in self-talk where X poses questions to himself by considering issues from his father's shoes, X could learn to be more rationale in the face of a conflict. As such, he could have avoided an argument that serves no benefit to both him and his father.
Caroline
If I am X, a boy who displayed extraordinary intelligence and could already start reasoning things out at the age of 4, I will see the point that when we expect others to understand us, we should understand others as well. I will try to talk to my father so that we can understand each other better. But a point to note would be that because we are dealing with our parents, we should be more tactful and careful out of our love and respect for them.
ReplyDeleteEven though X may possess extraordinary intelligence and could somehow understand almost everything at a quicker pace than everyone else, I feel that X is after all still a child who wants his parents to shower him with love and concern. Sometimes, we may expect that people like X, with extraordinary intelligence and understanding to be accommodating enough to other people around them. However, this may prove to be a difficult thing to do especially when it comes to relationships with someone you are very close to. I could understand that as much as X would like to communicate with his parents, he does not know how he could do so despite the fact that he was able to ‘pick up both language and mathematical skills with ease’. It is not so much a language problem, but a problem for X to convey his inner feelings to his parents.
ReplyDeleteWith respect to the conflict between X and his father, I agreed with Caroline’s point that the pocket money incident being a trigger that sparked off the argument. The argument was probably not so much over pocket money issue but more of a vent of the frustration that was within X since childhood. I feel that it might probably be a moment of anger that caused X to think about running away from home. I would suggest X to cool down before doing something impulsive. Running away to get their attention might not be the best way to deal with his current situation. It might instead further strain the relationship between him and his parents. If X could have a heart to heart talk with his parents, that would be good. However if he is not able to do so, perhaps he could approach a good friend whom he trust to talk to him or her about it. Keeping all the problems to oneself may not always be the best solution. X should learn to practice saying out his feelings. I believe X would feel much better if he could finally overcome his mental barrier to share his inner feelings and thoughts.